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Thesis - Campus Access Only
Master of Fine Arts (MFA)
English and Comparative Literature
This memoir is compiled of journalistic recounting of my experience as a family caretaker for my grandmother, who suffered from dementia psychosis. The memoir expands and discusses themes of guilt, regret, dissatisfaction, religion, obligation, violence, and love. Each journal / short essay refers to a different challenge and struggle in the field of caretaking and ultimately help to illuminate and illustrate why I fell out of love with my grandmother, who I loved more than anyone in the world. To achieve this, I had to look inward and write about what I have struggled with as a caretaker. The guilt of being a Palestinian Christian, the obligations of being the oldest male child, and the unfortunate dilemma that I was not ready to face a mental affliction head on and alone. I had to be brutally honest with what I had done, seen, and thought during the near decade-long tenure as my grandmother’s sole provider, and it nearly broke me.
Spangler, Richard A., "I Used to Love You: A Family Caregiver's Testimonial" (2022). Master's Theses. 5278.