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Publication Date

Spring 2022

Degree Type

Thesis - Campus Access Only

Degree Name

Master of Fine Arts (MFA)

Department

English and Comparative Literature

Advisor

Keenan Norris

Subject Areas

Comparative literature

Abstract

This memoir is compiled of journalistic recounting of my experience as a family caretaker for my grandmother, who suffered from dementia psychosis. The memoir expands and discusses themes of guilt, regret, dissatisfaction, religion, obligation, violence, and love. Each journal / short essay refers to a different challenge and struggle in the field of caretaking and ultimately help to illuminate and illustrate why I fell out of love with my grandmother, who I loved more than anyone in the world. To achieve this, I had to look inward and write about what I have struggled with as a caretaker. The guilt of being a Palestinian Christian, the obligations of being the oldest male child, and the unfortunate dilemma that I was not ready to face a mental affliction head on and alone. I had to be brutally honest with what I had done, seen, and thought during the near decade-long tenure as my grandmother’s sole provider, and it nearly broke me.

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